What beliefs we hold and what we believe usually determine how we act and how we live our lives. Often we unconsciously form some impotent beliefs that turn into excuses that have a profound negative impact on our growth. In this article, we will look at some of the most common excuses that prevent us from living a better life.
Why is it important to stop making excuses?
One of the main focuses in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is how words can program our minds. It’s amazing how simple words and phrases that we usually say on a daily basis can have such a big impact on our lives.
With this in mind, it’s safe to say that the excuses we make to ourselves program our minds to fail and suffer. This is why it is important that we begin to consciously choose which words and phrases we use to describe our lives.
The 22 excuses we will talk about are some of the most commonly used phrases and beliefs that can often be heard in society. Even some of them can hold you back in life, damage your growth, and negatively affect your overall life experience.
Make sure you clear yourself of all of them.
How do I stop making excuses?
The first step is awareness. Knowing what beliefs and circumstances you use as an excuse and fully accepting them is the first step to removing them from your life.
The more aware you are of your thoughts and beliefs, the more consciously you can reject any thoughts, beliefs, or excuses that might hold you back.
The second step is to take action. And make life decisions against all these excuses. Challenge your fears and limitations. You can do this by changing your thinking, replacing these powerless beliefs with the right ones. We will discuss the possibilities to come up with approaches to everyone under any pretext, so read on.
What are the consequences of excuses?
To better understand the consequences of excuses, let’s quickly understand how our language (words and phrases) that we use on a daily basis affects our minds.
Often, when people are told to pay attention to their routine language, they break their heads, wondering:
“Can we really form our thoughts just by saying a few words?”
“How does language really shape the way we think?”
Yes! The language we use shapes our thoughts and emotions. Actually, it’s better to say this:
Our language forms our identity!
Our subconscious mind captures every detail of our daily life. Things that may escape our conscious mind may actually be captured by our unconscious mind.
Needless to say, our words and phrases play a huge role in influencing our minds.
The first and most powerful thing a person developed was the ability to speak and communicate.
Throughout history, the greatest leaders have influenced the world with their language and precise choice of words and phrases that evoke certain emotions in people.
Various fields of mind science, such as hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming, focus on the precise use of language to influence the mind in a certain way, to heal people, to bring them confidence and happiness, and to help them solve their problems and challenges.
Advertisers and marketers use certain words and phrases to get people to buy their products. Words and phrases that we hear and personally use over and over again tend to hypnotize us and program our minds.
Basically, we are in a trance state in everything we do, mesmerized by what is happening in our lives.
The question, however, is whether all these trance States that we are constantly in, and the things that we unconsciously hypnotize in our daily lives, are positive or negative?
If our choice of words is positive and inspiring, it will program our minds in a positive and inspiring way that will directly affect the quality of life and how we experience it.
If the choice is negative and full of excuses, it will affect our lives depending on what negative words we say.
So here are 22 commonly used excuses that hold you back from a better, more prosperous, and happier life.
1. I Have a special situation
All these ideas and tips are great, but my particular situation is very different from other people’s. These solutions won’t work for me.
As if people only want to hear what they want to hear. Anything that goes against their will or pushes them away from comfort, they seem to reject it, saying, ” This won’t work for me, I have a different situation.”
Of course, your situation is different. The same with everyone!
Just as each person is different, it is not surprising that each of us lives different lives. Everyone has their own special things going on in their lives.
But we need to focus on the fact that there are certain universal laws that work for almost everyone.
At the core of our existence, we are the same, and we all come from the same source.
Although outwardly we all seem different, at a basic level our life consists of certain universal elements that obey the universal laws of the universe.
Ask any experienced psychotherapist, consultant, or life coach, they will tell you that they continue to see similar patterns in the thousands of people they have helped.
2. in life, everything is not as it is in theory
All these things of self-improvement seem good in theory, but practical life is different.
This is another statement that people use as an excuse not to change and not to take responsibility for their lives.
Most of us have developed deep and strong negative beliefs about life and other people, and we like to hold these beliefs. When something threatens our beliefs or questions their authenticity, we unconsciously tend to reject and reject it.
In addition, some people at first tend to be skeptical when they are offered something new and unconventional as advice or ideas. But when they get to know the idea and experience it personally, they accept it.
If you don’t try, you won’t know.
3. I tried “EVERYTHING” but “NOTHING” didn’t help
This is a generalization in all its glory. People hesitantly try something here and there, and then come to the conclusion that “NOTHING” works.
The question is, have you really tried everything? There may be hundreds of options or solutions for a particular problem in the world.
Another question: How do you know that you have tried everything?
Our worldview is limited by the knowledge and experience we have accumulated so far. We all have very limited and biased knowledge and experience if we are not experts in something.
No one can say for sure that they know everything or have seen everything in the world.
When people say “Nothing helped”, their judgment is usually based on their limited knowledge and experience. They may not yet be exposed to many other options that exist.
The best cure for ignorance is to ask questions.
Instead of closing yourself off and coming to such limiting conclusions, be open-minded and continue to search for knowledge in this particular area so that more options are available to you.
4. I don’t have time
Everyone is busy, but it’s about priorities.
Do you say that you are busy when a family emergency occurs or some other urgent problem arises? No? Why? Because it’s high on your priority list.
Realize that you are living your life according to your priorities. Whatever priority system you have in your subconscious, it shapes your life and your daily routine.
When people say they don’t have the time or money to invest in their growth and training, they just say:
“My personal growth and the quality of my life are not important to me. I would rather spend my time and money shopping, having dinner with friends, or just watching TV shows.”
Just remember that if you don’t prioritize your personal growth and your mental and physical health NOW, you will definitely suffer in the long run.
5. It’s too expensive!
I can’t afford it. I wasn’t born with money like other people. My parents weren’t rich.
Again, it’s about what priority and value a particular thing has for you.
People will say things like:
“This curriculum, course or seminar is too expensive”
“I can’t pay $ 10 for this financial management app”
“You are lucky that you have the money to attend this course, I can’t. I wasn’t born into a rich family.”
“Why spend $ 10-20 on a book when you can download other books online for free!»
The same people who use such phrases to justify themselves have spent a lot of money on family dinners, hanging out with friends, and shopping trips.
A $ 10 pizza or a $ 50 dress would have seemed cheap to them. But when it comes to investing in personal growth and improving your quality of life, everything seems “expensive” and they try to find a way to get it “for FREE.”
Think smart and realize what will really add long-term value to your life.
Even if you really don’t have any money, instead of saying “I can’t afford it”, think and ask yourself: “What do I have to do to afford it?”
There may not be a simple or immediate solution to this question, you may need to work extra for some time to save money, or you may have to sell something or take out a loan. But it is POSSIBLE.
It’s not about resources, it’s about resourcefulness. Review your priorities.
6. I was born this way, I am what I am, nobody can change me
Well, we were all born without knowing how to walk or talk. We are born ignorant. This does not mean that we remain in the dark all our lives.
We are born without skills or knowledge about everything, does this mean that we will never learn?
We are not born with a concept of what is good and what is bad. Does this mean that we continue to live in this state?
The fact is that we learn everything!
You can learn most of the things that people do in this world by making the right and consistent effort. Almost any skill can be developed if you are willing to work on it.
To say that “I was born this way, I can’t change” is probably a sign of laziness and an unwillingness to leave the comfort zone. It’s easier not to make an effort.
There are people in the world who are literally born blind or without limbs, but through their determination they learn and become more capable than many physically “normal” people.
7. I’m too old for this, it’s too late to start anything
The world is full of examples of people who started late but continued to make the most of their lives.
If you think you’re late, don’t waste any more time complaining and procrastinating.
It’s never too late to learn. It sounds like a cliche, but it’s the best attitude to have.
8. I wish I could be so smart or confident
If you think you are not smart and confident, instead of wanting or complaining about it, think curiously about how you can learn to become smart and confident.
Intelligence and confidence are knowable things.
In fact, we humans are born with only two innate fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds. We were taught all the other fears.
We have learned to be afraid and anxious, which keeps us from using our inner confidence and our natural intelligence to be smart.
Confidence and intelligence are what we have in us. We just need to learn to use it and practice it over and over again.
Everyone is confident and smart in their own way. When people compare themselves to others, this is when we fall into an inferiority complex. Stop comparing and accepting your own blessings.
The world would be boring and chaotic if everyone was the same. We are all created different. Accept it!
9. What will people think?
Why does it matter what people think? Sometimes we just need to let go of people’s opinions of us and do what’s right for us.
Think of the worst that could happen?
If the consequences are serious and could endanger your life, then Yes, you should take into account what these people will think of you.
Otherwise, if people look at you strangely or talk behind your back, then you should stop worrying about what people will think.
10. If only positive thinking could solve problems of the people, all would live a happy life
Almost everything about people started with a thought. Thought has more power than we think.
It is impossible to imagine what a simple thought can do. Everything we create is first created within thought.
First, happiness is created in the mind, then it gradually materializes. Similarly, suffering is first created in the mind before it actually manifests itself in our life.
This is why we see happy and positive people who are becoming more and more happy every day. And we also see complaining, frustrated people becoming more and more frustrated and unhappy. Their reasons for complaining increase every day.
This statement means that everything you think and expect from the Universe will manifest in your life.
When you expect the universe to bring good and positive things into your life, it will manifest. If you expect negative things in life, it will also show up.
You make a choice. Your attitude to life and how you think directly affects the quality of your existence.
The holographic universe: can we consciously change reality
11. Why is this happening to me?
This is a good question ONLY if you ask it out of curiosity and not out of self-pity.
Instead of thinking from the victim’s perspective, approach the issue positively and think from the victim’s perspective.:
“What conclusion should I draw from this situation?”
If you think that you are the only one who is going through this situation, consider the question:
“What special ability or wisdom does the universe want to teach you? Why did she choose you for this circumstance?”
Keep in mind that the cream of society, the best people in humanity, have gone through most of the trials, obstacles, adversities, and all sorts of difficulties that any other people around them experience.
Wisdom, maturity, spirituality, and intellectual ability do not come from nowhere. You need to pass the” training ” of life.
Yes, these life problems and hardships are lessons.
These lessons are a special opportunity for you to learn something that many people never learn, and grow beyond what many people ever could.
Instead of wasting this opportunity on self-pity, use it to build a stronger, better, higher version of yourself.
12. People who are successful are just lucky
They were just lucky. I’m not as lucky as these lucky ones…
If you live, breathe and are able to understand what you are reading now, you are already lucky!
We all have our own unique opportunities to use. The problem is that many of us compare our blessings and problems with others.
When you stop focusing on other people’s lives and when you stop comparing yourself to them, you begin to see the unique opportunities that the universe has developed and made available only to you.
Having money, big houses, factories, expensive cars is not just luck.
Moreover, many people, even if they have “everything” in life, are dissatisfied inside. Never judge people’s happiness by their smiles and happy photos on social networks.
People can hide their inner selves and their problems. Someone who looks happy and laughs out loud can be very disappointed and toxic inside.
In terms of worldly success, when you learn about many great people in the world, you will learn that most of them started almost from scratch. The reason they became great is because they faced difficult times and struggles.
Many people who are now recognized as successful have experienced more difficulties and problems than most of us. You wouldn’t call them “lucky” if you saw them at a time when they were deprived and struggling.
Change your mindset and start working on yourself. Make a positive, inspiring example from your life so that in 20 to 30 years, looking back, you will be happy and proud of how you spent your life.
13. I am not so talented to be successful as others
Some people are born with special talents, and some develop skills. The world is full of” talented ” people who never work on themselves or use their special abilities.
On the other hand, there are people who were not born with any bright talent, but they strategically make a consistent effort to develop skills.
“Strategy will compensate talent, but talent will never compensate for strategy.”
– Marco Pierre White
Natural talent is not a prerequisite for success in life. What is needed is how much effort you put into developing a particular skill.
One understanding can make a difference in your thinking, and you will begin to see things in a different light, which will eventually change your life forever.
14. one day I will change or become successful
That “someday” will never come. Believe me! All you have is TODAY. The only time you have is now.
Now, what are you going to do about it? What will you decide to do today? Will you live this day as usual? Or something you like to do?
15. In our day the honest way to achieve nothing
Many people have such a model of thinking that it is impossible to get ahead in life without some dirty tricks.
This only shows the limited thinking of the person who says it. Yes, the system can be damaged, but there are good people who value honesty.
You must have a deep faith in the law of the universe to be able to walk the right path.
Stick to your noble values and do the right thing. Believe that if you are on the right path, the universe will help you.
Have a long-term vision and be able to see the big picture. Don’t let the superficial deception of the world confuse you and jeopardize your values.
16. Big goals and optimistic thinking are just delusions
Life is not so simple. Be practical and realistic.
If every person in the world thought in a so-called “practical” and “realistic” way, there would be no progress, creativity, discovery, or any kind of revolution in the world.
There is one quote from George Bernard Shaw that is a great response to this negative statemen
“A reasonable person adapts to the world. An unintelligent person tries to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all the progress of the world depends on an unintelligent man.”
17. I know it all, I’ve seen it all
Really? Then you must be the wisest, most knowledgeable and intelligent person who has ever existed on this planet. And also the most arrogant.
In fact, there is a possibility that it may be the exact opposite. Since such a person who thinks that he knows everything and has seen everything is probably not wise enough.
“The more you know, the more you realize how little you know.”
18. I alone cannot change the situation, others must also change
Every great movement in the world started with a single person, who later turned into a movement or revolution or organization, company, institution.
Each of us has some influence on the people around us. Use your share of influence to start something good.
At the very least, taking responsibility for your own actions will put you in an independent and empowering state of mind compared to someone who is waiting for others (things / people / circumstances) to change so that their own lives will change.
19. Others are to blame for the way my life is
We are responsible for ourselves. When you blame someone for your suffering, you essentially lose power and control over your life.
Accusation is one of the most impotent things people do.
On the other hand, when you take responsibility for your own state of mind and your life, you use the power that has been inside you since birth, which gives you the ability to act in a positive way and make life-changing decisions.
Make it a habit to ask yourself:
“What can I do to improve the situation?»
“How can I change my position?”
20. My life is miserable and full of problems
Life is a test. Everyone faces problems in some way.
We have 2 options at our disposal:
1. We can complain, be sad, think and act negatively, which makes things much worse than they actually were.
2. Or we can focus on solutions instead of crying about problems.
We can focus on our blessings and hope and believe that things will get better over time.
21. If I did this and not that…
We are all full of mistakes. Mistakes and failures are among the most important teachers in practical life.
We would never have learned or received wisdom if we had not made mistakes.
“Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.”
— Will Rogers
Learn from your mistakes, take a lesson and move on. Don’t waste your time and energy regretting the past.
Regret will not change your life. The only thing that can change your life is to move forward with the lessons and wisdom you have learned and correct them.
22. I am unhappy in life because of my difficult childhood
One of the” not very positive ” by-products of traditional psychology is that people have learned to link their childhood so closely with adult life that they have become mentally accused and victimized themselves.
Because of this thinking, people feel helpless and stuck, because obviously there is nothing we can do to change our childhood.
This is very helpless thinking.
It is becoming more and more common these days to see people blaming their current suffering and lack of success on their educational and children’s activities.
Yes, childhood plays an important role in human development. But this doesn’t mean that you should always look back and blame your childhood, your parents, or society.
Instead of getting upset and wasting precious time and energy on things that you can’t change, focus your attention and energy on things that are under your control.
Don’t waste your life staying stuck and blaming the past. Time passes quickly, and we all have a very limited amount of time on this earth. Make sure you spend it productively.
You don’t have to live with the baggage that was handed over to you. Drop this baggage and commit to changing yourself, rebuilding your life, and reprogramming your mind.
If you are related to any of these phrases, make sure that you have eliminated these excuses from your life and become more aware of your choice of words and phrases.
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